The art of eating a pussy

Well one of my friend, cousin actually likes to call it the science of eating a pussy hum…. whatever.

Its all about conquering the world and you know what, it starts with the defining act of pussy eating. Even Alexander the great tried it and my theory is that he was not poisoned but he suffocated to death. So don’t try this just because I am telling you to, you have been warned.

For the few daring ones who are going to try this I have a little three step tutorial. You may call it Pussy eating for dummies or the Art of eating a pussy or maybe the science of it. Guess what the title will not matter, its just in your head or should I say down there in the pussy.

First Step: Feel Like a woman, now don’t look down there in your pants you will not find her there, but hay for some of us it may actually work depends upon the size of the thing. If it makes you feel sorry then you are well on your way.

Second Step: Find the clit, GPS is not required and all data that you will get from your satellite will not work, it requires only three fingers to find it. Now put your fingers to some work, start with two(better use the thumbs) one from each hand and slowly pull the pussy lips to the side. Now what you will see is a hole, don’t rush its not the time to pull your pants down… Oh man you will always be a man. OK now you need one more finger, it will probably come from your left hand, at this time if you have only used your thumbs then there should be plenty of fingers left or are they…

Now use the finger to drag the flesh at the top of the pussy back towards the abdomen, yes drag it, now what you will start to see is a tiny winy thing, which will make you proud… Yes this is the time to look inside your pants. Okay stop its not a lesson to make you feel you proud remember it was about pussy eating. Now this tiny winy thing is the Clitoris. Don’t touch it, don’t lick it, if your woman is not prepared then this will probably put her off, its too sensitive go to the guide book called preparing the woman for dummies and then return to this page.

Step Three: Shawshank redemption, remember eating a pussy is mostly about playing with the clit, many of us are unsuccessful in it because they try too many things at once. Remember when you jerked off it was all a simple up down motion which made you cum. So keep it simple, and keep it regular. A regular up and down motion with your tongue will do it but remember it can take a long time, and you have to keep up with all the liquids oozing out of the pussy. Don’t stop because of those, that really means that your performance is good so give yourself a pat on your back and take some of it in your mouth, it is not so BAD. Second problem because of which our friend Alexander passed away is suffocation, well what can I say you are well on your way to be compared to him, isn’t that an honor.

The moment of truth, now this will be sharp and she will try to push your mouth away, at this point give it one or two more licks don’t overdo at this point and gently withdraw, finish off with a kiss.

Good Luck

Add comment December 2nd, 2004